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Hey, what’s up. I did this on a complete whim to fix my writer’s block because it’s an easy novel. I was also tired of it being incomplete on NU, though, uh… I see that someone else started to finish it, probably because I never announced that I was ever working on this way back in April so that I never felt pressured. Sorry, my bad…
In any case, my translation is done — you can get the PDF and EPUB digital versions here, if you so desire, or click the ‘Digital Version Library’ above each post if you ever change your mind. Regardless of how long the ‘chapters’ are, ten will be be in each post. They’re Not Pretty because I’m copy-pasting them off of a Pages file, so please do check out the portable digital versions for versions that suck less.
I named my version of “The Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader” as “Seasonal Chill: Getting a Creed Lord the Wrong(est) Way”, so that I could abbreviate it as SC and not GCLWW or WWDSL, which are u g l y. ‘Seasonal Chill’ is just Ji Han’s name, roughly translated.]
In the Martial Forest of today, the righteous and chaotic had been fighting for a long time, setting off a bloodied tempest in jianghu. The Demonic Creed’s forces were pressing right in on the Vast Alliance, making the Forest’s seniors’ hairs turn white with worry while they failed to think of a way to deal with this.
By coincidence, a spy had just sent back news saying that the Creed Lord had suddenly died, and that a new one had taken his spot. The man was the previous Lord’s sworn son, having the surname Ji and singular given Han; his martial arts were extremely advanced, he was of profound thought, and he acted decisively, but he also had a shortcoming that was enough to prove fatal.
He liked men.
That spy, which the righteous faction had planted in the Creed, had once caught sight of a portrait of Zhao Jiangui, the number-one swordsman of jianghu, in the Lord’s bedroom. On that painting, Zhao Jiangui was donned in white, and had handsome features; rumors told that it had been created by the Devil himself, and had been hanging at his headboard ever since the fight Zhao Jiangui had made his name in.
The spy had a sudden realization, and later passed info on to the Vast Alliance: the current Demonic Creed Lord had been bitterly pining for Hero Zhao for many years, and as long as the latter was willing to act, the Alliance could be saved.
Zhao Jiangui himself had world-class sword arts and peerless looks, where those of jianghu labelled him as the best swordsman of close to a hundred years. The Alliance Leader of the Martial Forest quickly sent someone to invite him over. Then, after offering him up good tea with good water, this huge flock of Forest seniors suddenly knelt down around him, following which they told him of their fellows’ plan while dripping with tears.
They wanted him to go…
…the Creed Lord.
Zhao Jiangui: “…”
When all the seniors of the Alliance were knelt before someone, that someone would have no choice but to agree to whatever difficult request they had. On top of that, Zhao Jiangui bore the title of a ‘Great Hero’ on his back.
The Alliance revered him as the savior of righteous jianghu. Those seniors had even poured a lot of money into inviting Yue Qingqing, a popular placard from the capital’s Hundred Flowers, and have her teach him how to properly seduce the Demon.
“You’re so good-looking, Hero Zhao. Don’t have such a wooden face,” Yue Qingqing said in her charming voice, waving her circular fan. “As long as you’re willing to smile, even deities would be entranced by you.”
Zhao Jiangui furrowed his brows and said not a word.
“Talking gently would work, too,” she continued. “Men love to listen to gentle words the most.”
She covered her lips and laughed. “If you called anyone your precious darling, how could they not adore you?”
“Those are impetuous words. Why would I ever say such nonsense?” he asked, cold.
Yue Qingqing then looked a bit awkward. “Be a bit softer with your eyes, Hero Zhao. Don’t give me such a homicidal look.”
He icily shifted his eyes away.
She now looked extremely awkward. “Hero Zhao, you can still smile, right? Smiling would do great! Just give me a smile!”
After a long moment of silence, Zhao Jiangui reluctantly hauled the corners of his mouth up.
Yue Qingqing refunded her renumeration, stating that she could not teach a student like this.
Those seniors, disappointed that this iron was not turning into steel, invited the popular courtesan, Yu Xian’r, from Qinhuai Shores.
Yu Xian’r was stated to have personally trained untold amounts of male prostitutes, where no matter how frigid the one who passed into his hands was, he could turn him into a little gigolo that could give nosebleeds with a coquettish voice and twisting waist.
The very first step, of course, was to make Hero Zhao take off his clothes.
Yu Xian’r reached out a pale white hand to pull open Zhao Jiangui’s collar, but the latter snatched his wrist and locked up his pulse. He wailed out in pain, raised his head, and saw Zhao Jiangui’s ice-cold face.
“Hero Zhao, you have to take off your clothes before I can teach you,” he said coyly.
The other shot him a glance. “Being lascivious in broad daylight? That’s a scandal waiting to happen.”
Yu Xian’r still refused to give up, rubbing up against him, body as soft as a pool of spring water, in an attempt to arouse the repressed lust at the bottom of Zhao Jiangui’s heart.
“If you keep moving around randomly, I’ll break your wrist,” the latter said frostily.
Yu Xian’r had no choice but to get up, turn around, and leave bitterly — however, he inadvertently stepped on the hem of his own clothes. Seeing that he was about to fall to the ground, Zhao Jiangui reached out, nabbed him, and took him into his arms to support him. “Be careful,” he said, just as coldly.
Yu Xian’r looked at the other’s handsome features that were right in front of him, his white clothes like snow, and felt tiny deers randomly bumping into each other inside his heart. He, who had steeped in lands of lust for as long as he had, seemed to have a spark go off inside him.
Yu Xian’r went to refund the money and say his farewells to the Forest seniors.
“Hero Zhao has a righteous aura,” he said. “I can’t teach him.”
The seniors did not give up, clutching his sleeve and saying that they were willing to increase the amount if he would try again.
“This isn’t a money problem,” he said. After hesitating for a long time, he lowered his head, a blush suffusing his cheeks. “I’m afraid that if I continue to teach him, I’ll fall in love with him.”
The Forest seniors had their hands tied.
The spy said that the Creed Lord had put on a disguise, and was now in the vicinity of the Vast Alliance.
They couldn’t wait any longer!
Several great heroes made up a collection of phrases, told Zhao Jiangui to learn them by heart once through — and also that he was to seek out and contact the spy if something came up — then drove him out of the Alliance with the fabricated excuse that he had mistakenly killed the Alliance Leader’s eldest disciple, after which they led a group of Forest fellows to chase down and kill him as a group.
According to the storyline concocted by these heroes, at this moment, Zhao Jiangui ought to be heavily outnumbered, collapse with heavy injuries right on the path that the Creed Lord had to take, then get picked up by him, whereupon something indescribable would happen automatically.
They quickly realized that that idea was a wee bit unrealistic.
Zhao Jiangui was the number-one swordsman in jianghu, after all. The group chasing him to beat him up couldn’t even brush his sleeves.
The Alliance Leader shouted out an anxious explanation. “Hero Zhao! You need to pretend to get injured!”
“If I got injured by any of you, it would seem too strange,” he answered.
The Alliance Leader thought, That’s true. He’s famous — how could it be possible for him to get hurt so easily? The Creed Lord’s thoughts were so meticulous, he would definitely believe that the righteous faction was playing a trick on him.
Thankfully, they had a backup plan.
Zhao Jiangui, holding his sword in his arms while on the road, awaited the Creed Lord’s appearance.
He caught sight of a faraway horse-drawn carriage, its shape being the exact same that the spy had said the Lord was riding. He stepped forth to block its path. When the carriage came over, its driver was extraordinarily hostile, striking at him with the whip, only for him to grab and tug the tip of the whip, which nearly pulled the man off the vehicle.
The driver quickly stopped his buggy, loudly cursing at him. “What kind of dog are you?! How dare you block our carriage!”
“I’m a human,” Zhao Jiangui answered. “You’re charging around rampantly. Take care not to injure passersby.”
The man wanted to curse him again, but an utterly frosty voice came from the carriage. “Enough.”
He shut his mouth.
Zhao Jiangui knew that inside the carriage was the disguised Creed Lord.
“Who are you?” the Lord asked.
Zhao Jiangui was obliged to speak according to the phrases those heroes had written down. “I’m a person.”
“What kind of person?”
“One that’s lost the road.”
“Which road are you heading towards?”
Zhao Jiangui creased his brow. After a good long while, he finally forced himself to choke out the final set of words.
“The road to your heart.”
There was sudden silence in every direction. Everyone shut up and said nothing else.
A long time later, someone finally lifted the carriage curtain.
Zhao Jiangui looked up — inside the carriage sat a young man that was no more than just over twenty, who wore black robes and was looking at him coldly.
The Alliance Leader had showed him a painting of the Creed Lord once before; the depiction on it had resembled the appearance of the one before him quite a bit. Very nice. The one sitting in the carriage was indeed the Creed Lord, Ji Han.
In accordance with the situation that those warriors had pre-planned, Ji Had ought to be turning pale with shock at this moment, as the one he had secretly yearned for for years had suddenly shown up in front of him — or, at least, he would have some sort of reaction. Zhao Jiangui only needed to shut up, wait for Ji Han to respond, and then, going along with the Demon’s answer, simply pick out a phrase that best corresponded with the immediate scenario from those prepped script lines.
A slight wave really did show up in Ji Han’s icy eyes. Zhao Jiangui began to review the answering sentences he had memorized that morning.
“Zhao Jiangui?” the other asked.
Ji Han laughed coldly. “Very good.”
Zhao Jiangui said nothing.
Those heroes hadn’t told him how to answer this phrase of his. He was afraid of messing things up, so he had to be quiet and play dumb.
“Where’s your sword?” the other asked again.
This… appeared to be heading in a bit of a wrong direction.
Ji Han was seen to frown slightly. “Where is your sword?” he questioned again, coldly.
“It’s right here.”
“Draw it,” the other said harshly.
Zhao Jiangui was confused. “Why do want me to do that?”
Ji Han sneered. “All of jianghu claims that you’re the number one swordsman. I’m not convinced at all. I hung your portrait inside my bedroom to encourage myself to practice day and night, telling myself that there will come a day when I defeat you.”
This… was not similar to what the agreement had said.
Zhao Jiangui mumbled to himself for a long time, then cautiously said, “I don’t want to battle with you here.”
He had to seduce this Demon, after all, and fights would have casualties. If he won, that’d be fine, but if he lost, what would the Alliance do, then?
“What do you want?” Ji Han interjected.
A phrase that matched those stage lines had finally appeared!
“I want you,” Zhao Jiangui subconsciously blurted out.
Ji Han was taken aback for a long time. “You… you want what?” he forced himself to ask.
“You,” Zhao Jiangui said, blunt.
Zhao Jiangui felt ill at ease after saying that, too, knitting his brow and not adding anything else. He inwardly criticized those so-called ‘heroes’ for how they had come up with these really weird phrases.
Both sides were quiet for a while, after which Ji Han seemed to come to a decision. “Do you know who I am?”
There! Another matching sentence!
“I do, but I don’t care.”
“Do you actually kn—“
“What I want is you, no one else.”
The carriage driver had since covered up his ears and crouched down nearby, chanting to himself on repeat. “I don’t hear anything, I don’t see anything, don’t silence me, don’t silence me, Creed Lord, don’t kill me to silence me…”
“Are you really Zhao Jiangui?” Ji Han suddenly asked.
Zhao Jiangui was startled. “Of course I am.”
“I didn’t think that the number-one swordsman of the land would actually be a cut-sleeve.”
“…” No? Let me explain.
“I’m only looking for a battle.”
“If you can’t battle me, then it would be better for us to part ways.”
Ji Han had already turned back into the carriage. The driver busily sat back down, merely awaiting an order from the Creed Lord.
Zhao Jiangui looked at Ji Han, unable to resist creasing his brow.
The other turned his head. “What a pity it is that I’m not a cut-sleeve in the least,” he said coldly to him.
With that, the driver cracked his whip, and then the carriage rode off whilst kicking up dust.
Zhao Jiangui stood right where he was, feeling wronged by the dust dirtying his entire face.
He wasn’t a cut-sleeve, either.
Yet, a noble’s word was like the whipping of a quick horse — since he had promised the Forest seniors that he would seduce the Demon, the show had to go on.
His lightness arts were enough to rank amongst the top ten in jianghu, so the Devil running away was no big matter. He could absolutely catch up with that devil, and seduce him!
No matter how fast Ji Han’s carriage was, it couldn’t have ever been faster than the speed of the number one swordsman. Zhao Jiangui didn’t have much trouble hunting him down.
People listing his lightness arts as ‘top-ten’ had not been to say that they weren’t as first-tier as his sword arts, but simply that people that had reached his level of swordsmanship rarely had the opportunity to put their lightness arts to full use.
For that reason, not many jianghu folk had ever witnessed Zhao Jiangui scramble to chase down a carriage.
His changshan was still as cleanly-white as snow, and his long, bound hair hadn’t a strand out of place, but his face was quite hard to look at. Anyone that had chased after a carriage for nearly a hundred li would definitely not look that great.
To add onto that, the Devil he had been chasing had been sitting comfortably in that carriage the whole time. He had probably had a whole roast chicken and jar of fine wine in it, too.
He smelled the fragrance of alcohol.
They had now come to a small town. The Devil was in the middle of stepping down from the carriage, then heading into the best tavern in town.
Zhao Jiangui had no choice but to follow after him.
He walked in, then took a look all around; the pub’s business was booming, with people coming and going all over. How was he going to se… seduce the Demon?
Ji Han sat down at the best seat in the tavern.
Zhao Jiangui, gloomy-faced, sat down alongside him.
The alcohol and dishes were served up, yet Ji Han never moved his chopsticks, giving him a cold glance. “Why have you not gone away?”
Those heroes really had been clairvoyant! This sentence was written in those scripted lines, too!
“I’m not going away. I’m chasing after you.”
“What are you doing that for.”
Zhao Jiangui pondered his next words in earnest. “I want to go back to your Demonic Creed with you.”
Pausing slightly, Zhao Jiangui expressionlessly corrected himself. “Your Holy Creed.”
The other forcefully pulled up the corners of his mouth, attempting to squeeze out a noxious smile. “Don’t struggle. You’re not getting rid of me.”
“If you want me to bring you back to the Creed,” Ji Han suddenly said, “that’s simple.”
Great! The plan was halfway done! “How?”
“As long as you duel with me, I’ll bring you there.”
He hadn’t expected that the Devil would take such a big detour, only to be waiting for him here. Seemed like this battle was one he couldn’t not fight.
“Choose the time and place,” Ji Han went on. “You only need to set up the challenge, and I’ll be sure to keep to the appointment.”
Zhao Jiangui remained silent.
The other laughed icily. “When would a ‘number-one swordsman’ ever be too afraid to even offer a challenge?”
This wasn’t written in the script! He couldn’t just answer all willy-nilly!
These script lines were unreliable. So many of them weren’t even written down… he was just going to have to improvise by himself.
“Do you dare to, or not?!”
“I’ll challenge you,” Zhao Jiangui answered.
Ji Han nearly jumped up from his seat. He placed his hand on the simply-structured longsword at his waist, while his eyes, which had forever been as ice-cold as a thousand-year-old pond, faintly showed a trace of hard-to-conceal excitement. “Draw your sword!”
Zhao Jiangui remained sitting, however, not budging a bit. He slowly poured himself a cup of tea.
He never drank alcohol. Wine caused one’s reaction time to slow, and in confrontations between experts, the span of a second could distinguish between victory and defeat. Maintaining the title of the number-one swordsman was difficult; he needed to constantly keep himself in tip-top condition.
Ji Han frowned. “Why aren’t you drawing it?”
Zhao Jiangui looked up at him. “I just want to know if you’ll keep your word, Creed Lord.”
The other’s brow creased. “I would, of course.”
“Very well.” He drank the tea down in one gulp. “You said that I could determine the time and place, so I’ll set the time to be a year from now.”
One year’s time ought to be enough for him to stall Ji Han, and allow the righteous path to drum up its forces.
Ji Han was somewhat taken aback, face suddenly darkening. “You’re playing dumb with me.”
“The time and place are my choice. Are those not your words?”
“Can the words of the Creed Lord be counted on?”
Ji Han grit his teeth. “Yes.”
“Good. In one year, on the summit of Swordmeet.”
Ji Han stopped speaking. He poured himself another cup of wine, face terrifyingly overcast.
Zhao Jiangui let out a sigh of relief, though. He ought to be thankful that the Creed Lord was still young — despite his deep thoughts, he was ultimately still lacking in some experience in walking jianghu.
The first step was finally taken.
Ji Han suddenly stood up and went to head outside. Zhao Jiangui hurried to follow him.
The former shot him a cold glance. “Why are you following me?”
“You promised that you would take me back to your Holy Creed.”
“When did I promise that?”
Zhao Jiangui was startled. “You clearly said—“
“I said that would bring you back if you dueled me. Since the duel is set for one year later, find me in a year. I’ll take you to the Creed, then.”
Great… he was a really quick learner. Zhao Jiangui was just going to have to be a public nuisance.
“I said before that you won’t get rid of me.”
“I know,” Ji Han said coldly.
“If you don’t bring me back, I’ll still be able to follow you.”
Ji Han pointed at the driver that was waiting outside. “What do you think his internal arts are?”
Zhao Jiangui didn’t know; he had only just noticed that the carriage driver was an expert affiliated to the internal genus, and he appeared to have been practicing for decades. His internal arts were certain to not be low.
“He has practiced his skills for over thirty years,” Ji Han supplied. “If he goes and roars in the street, the majority of people in this town would likely be able to hear it.”
The other frowned. “Why are you telling me this?”
“If you follow me another half a step, I’ll immediately make him go onto the streets and yell.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“He’ll yell ‘Zhao Jiangui is a goddamn cut-sleeve.’ What do you think of that?”
“I just took a look. There’s quite a few righteous faction people in town.”
“You’re welcome to continue following me, Hero Zhao.”
With that, Ji Han strode out, an utter proudness appearing to be within his gait.
The game was on.
Upon receiving another’s dependence for something, the matter must be seen to its end.
Taking a deep breath, he took steps to follow.
Ji Han was clearly quite surprised.
“I haven’t been practicing for as long as he has,” Zhao Jiangui said, “but my internal arts aren’t inferior to his.”
Ji Han hesitated slightly. “What are you going to do?”
“If he goes and shouts, I’ll also go and shout a few things.”
“…What would you say?”
“Serenades to you.”
The driver continued to cover his ears and hide as he harnessed the horses, acting like he heard nothing.
“How dare you!” Ji Han raged.
“Go ahead and try me.”
“Rumors always spread quickly in jianghu.”
“There’s always bored people that like adding fuel to the fire.”
“The Hero of Mount Ba and Twin Elites of the Desert’s North had nothing to do with each other. All they did was sit and drink some wine together. The Elites couldn’t hold their liquor well, so they slept in the Hero’s room all night.”
“The day after, it was rumored that the Hero had specifically sought them out to drink for the purpose of getting them drunk. Five days later, someone said that he had gotten them drunk in order to get into bed with them.”
“Half a month later, this rumor turned into the Hero harboring terrible thoughts, where he wanted to have the Elites, but got rejected. Inside the wine was joint-harmony drugs from Joint Harmony Sect, and also a sprinkled knockout drug from Qian Jiwan’s apothecary.”
“The three of them have been friends for many years, but now they’ve been forced together because of rumors.”
Zhao Jiangui sighed. “Gossip is horrible.”
“I heard that they all live near here. The Hero has been my friend for many years—“
Zhao Jiangui shut up, making stuff up at rapid pace no more.
Sorry, Hero of Mount Ba. Sorry, Elites of the Desert’s North. For the sake of the Vast Alliance, I had no choice but to sacrifice you this time.
The driver had since harnessed the carriage up. He was shrinking beside the horses, cowering as he watched the two men.
Ji Han coldly stared at Zhao Jiangui, who was shut up and saying nothing.
“Get in the carriage, now,” the former said. “You’re not allowed to say half a word more.”
Zhao Jiangui went to get on board.
He turned his head to look at Ji Han.
“I don’t like the gossip of others. Since your lightness arts are so good, Hero Zhao, you should follow the carriage at a run.”
He could only look on as Ji Han boarded, gritting his teeth.
This was the first time Zhao Jiangui had ever had a wide survey of landscape from atop a carriage.
Chasing this vehicle had been really tiring. For the first half a shichen, he had still been obediently running after it, but later on, he just climbed onto its roof, moved aside his robes, and sat on it, completely disregarding his dignity as a Great Hero.
Moreover, this Devil had apparently been deliberately messing with him this whole time, as they had circled back to this road three times. The Devil eventually appeared to get worn out from playing around, and thus, the carriage stopped, then went right back to that small town.
The horses were panting heavily, while the driver had a head full of sweat from basking in the intense sun. Zhao Jiangui’s clothes no longer looked so cleanly-white, and his hair wasn’t so tidy, either.
Ji Han, meanwhile, dismounted the carriage in complete content, waving the delicate fan in his hand.
Zhao Jiangui was just a tiny bit indignant. Suppressing the rage in his heart, he asked, “Why did we come back here?”
“I suddenly remembered that I still haven’t eaten.”
Great. He was toying with him.
The waiter of the tavern appeared to be very surprised to see their group again.
Ji Han ordered the same exact dishes and fine wine as he had before. Zhao Jiangui coldly sat beside him.
Before he could even take a sip of water, someone hurried over. The man stood before their table with an anxious look. “Brother Zhao, leave, now!”
The arrival was the Hero of Mount Ba, Jin Beiguo.
Zhao Jiangui couldn’t help but be taken aback.
He had just said rotten things about this Hero, making him inevitably feel a bit guilty. Furthermore, none of those things had ever actually happened — it had merely been because Jin Beiguo and he were friends that his name had been the first thing his brain had thought of, thus also why he had casually used it.
Ji Han creased his brow as he looked over Jin Beiguo. “Who are you?”
Jin Beiguo appeared to have no extra time to speak to him in particular. “The Vast Alliance said that you killed the eldest disciple of the Leader! A lot of people are tracking your whereabouts in unison right now! Someone just said that you showed up in this tavern, and a lot of people have rushed over!”
This was actually what he had agreed upon with the Martial Forest seniors, in order to make this farce look even more realistic.
Obviously very unhappy with how Jin Beiguo was ignoring him, Ji Han couldn’t resist questioning him again. “Who are you? What are you wanting to do?”
“This humble one is Jin Beiguo,” the man had to answer.
Ji Han suddenly looked illusive. “The Hero of Mount Ba, Jin Beiguo?”
“That is I. I’m not sure who you are, Young Hero…?”
The other’s expression was bizarre.
Zhao Jiangui, completely guilty at heart, shifted his gaze away.
“Where are the Twin Elites?” Ji Han asked again.
Jin Beiguo was slightly startled. “You’re familiar with them? I won’t keep it from you; the brothers are indeed journeying with me. I instructed them to wait outside the tavern, so that in case righteous path warriors come in, we could notify Brother Zhao to flee in time.”
Ji Han took a look out the window — there were two young men in their twenties standing guard outside, their appearances nearly identical. It seemed like they might have some ancestry from the Western Regions, as their eyes and features were a little different from Central Plainsmens’.
He turned to look at the Hero of Mount Ba again, expression even more bizarre.
Understanding nothing, Jin Beiguo could only tug at Zhao Jiangui’s sleeve. “Brother Zhao, why is this Young Hero looking at me like that?”
The latter was forced to laugh dryly. “Uh… haha… I have no idea, either.”
4 thoughts on “SC 1-10”
😂 LOL those tacky lines are so ridiculous. And the poor driver 🙉🤣🤣🤣
This novel way too funny to be a cultivation-related novel 😂😂
I really like this novel! Thank you so much for this translation!
omg. i love this novel. thank you so much.